Things are going badly but we need to make a hard choice. I discussed Satomi’s wishes and decided that we should reduce her pain medication and increase her Decadron in an attempt to return her back to consciousness. It’s going to be a difficult and dangerous process. If the headaches persisted, the pain-killers would need drastic dosing to mask it a second time.
The RN confirmed the validity of our plan and advised that our success would be best attempted by replacing our oral Vicodin with a Fentanyl patch used to administer a low dose of Morphine-based pain-killer over a long period of time. Tylenol with Codeine should be used only when necessary. Extraneous meds shall be stopped including anti-nausea, and all supplements. Adavan and Ambien shall be used for anxiety and sleep aids.
We’ll start the process today.
Satomi was restless and uncomfortable. We all just didn’t understand. A few hours later it became painfully obvious-Poo, poo, poo. Her constipation was beginning to move and things were uncomfortable and sometimes painful. A night full of messy and smelly diaper changes, rubber gloves, and many, many repeated instructions falling on literally, deaf ears. It was dirty, nasty and frustrating work. It just never ended all night. We were all very tired. I’m sure that it was demoralizing for Satomi. This was one of the few situations that her failing short term memory is a positive.
Satomi’s sleeping and quiet. We on the other hand are distraught and tired. We’ve been through a fight and my body feel like I got my ass kicked. My brain is not working and I need coffee desperately. We got a drug delivery at 1:30am so I need to revamp her entire medication plan. I’m so brain dead that I’m sure to scew this up. We need some help. I called Satomi’s best friend for help. She changed her plans and rushed over. I was so thankful for a fresh mind. A Hospice RN called and wanted to visit. She heard about Satomi’s pain ordeal and wanted to check on us. I told her that Satomi was finally sleeping and there was no way in hell that Satomi would be awoken. I did say it nicely. That was an unexpected but welcome visit. The day was quiet and I was thankful.
It was a terrible night and we had to make some hard decisions.
We had to medicate her. In other words, we had to spike her system with drugs to sedate her. It was hard, took all night, and was immensely stressful. Satomi didn’t fully respond until 8:00am Sunday morning. The nearly 16 hours of terrible pain started with numerous tablets of Tyleol with Codeine and Vicodin, and ended with full syringes of liquid morphine, Adavan anti-anxiety pills and Decadron. I’m sure there was more but I just can’t remember. Her reistance to the morphine was shocking.
Medication couldn’t be given orally so the adult diaper played an important role. Many medications had to be crushed and put into a gel cap for insertion. If this wasn’t done, there was a huge risk of vomiting. All this and Satomi’s persistent memory lapses just made it a frickin mess.
The Hospice RN that visited us at 9:00pm on a Saturday night explained that Satomi’s symptoms are classic for elevated intercranial pressure due to tumor growth or swelling. To properly manage her pain, it may be necessary to keep Satomi in a sedated state. She may not ever regain consciousness.
After seeing the effects of the pain on Saturday night, we all agreed not to put Satomi throught that again.
I need to keep this short.
Satomi’s in trouble.
She’s been fighting a dibilitating headache since late this afternoon. The pain is so bad she has neurological effects, dimentia, and loss of short term memory. All our attempts to relieve her pain failed so we called in a hospice RN.
The pain wakes her from a deep sleep. She can’t get any rest and is miserable. When she tries to roll around and get comfy, she has a seizure. Its a terrible cycle that she’s repeated numerous times tonight.
We had to medicate her with Morphine. It may be necessary on a continuous basis if pain continues to be a problem.
Things are so different now than from yesterday. We had to put her in diapers.
I cancelled all activities tomorrow. We’re going to sit with her all night to make sure she’s ok.
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