Satomi's Cancer Blog

I returned to Rose Hills to meet with a property specialist from Rose Hills.  Armando was recommended by my Fukui contact.  He was a nice fellow and knew the grounds very well.

“Sean, I’m so sorry…”

I only had an hour so I interrupted his condolence speech.

“Armando, thank’s but today is all business.  I’m on a clock and need to see what niche’s you have and hear about all the details…”

“Ok, let’s grab a van and I’ll show you our availability”

We hit the road and immediately drove to the top.  Skyridge is a separate plateau at the highest point of the entire property.  It has a premier panoramic view and has a $9,340 price tag to match. 

It looks like the Vietnam War memorial wall in Washington DC.  Nice, somewhat secluded, and does fit two urns.

Next we drove over to the Sycamore Lake waterfall area.  The area is a small manmade lake with waterfall feature in the valley over the hill of the main property. 

The small lake and benches are nice and it’s serene.  There is a lot of availability and the $5,200 to $6,300 price is more so what I expected.

Back up the hill, we went to the Skyrose Chapel.  As you would expect for an indoor mausoleum, it had marble everywhere.  Nice and classy but felt cold. 

It’s what most people would imagine if the word “mausoleum” was said.  There were about half a dozen available at knee-level and costs about $7,100.

Notice on the left side of the picture are some of their glass-front Crystal niche’s.  As soon as I saw them, I asked about availability. 

Armando quickly apologized, “these have been sold out for a long time”.

These glass front niche’s were very moving.  There were family photos and mementos.  It was exactly what I was looking for.  It’s too bad that there weren’t any available.

Armando remembers something, “Oh…but we may have some other Crystal niches in a different area.  I’m pretty sure some were just released back to inventory.  I’ll make a call.”  I had done some homework before the visit so I knew availability was nearly zero in the glass-front niches.

After several phone calls, Armando confirms that some will be available in and the original memorial park across the street but had no pricing information.

I say, “Let’s just go look at them and then let me know all the details.”

We drive down the hill, down the street, turn a corner and into Gate 10.  I’m told that Gate 10 is near the Cherry Blossom garden.  We enter the Lakeview IV mausoleum and go upstairs.

It’s obviously a bit older but it’s also bright and sunny from the windows and skylights everywhere.  You can see all the photos and mementos in the picture.  It would be more than a marble plate and name placard for us when we visit so I think it’s something she’d want.  I’m very interested but we still don’t have all the details.

Our time is up so I ask Armando to get more info and call me as soon as possible.

It’s now Saturday morning and I get a call. 

“There will be several Crystal niche’s opening up.  They are all in row H or higher and will be about $6,800 each.  I’ll know for sure by Monday.  The niche is small so it can only fit one urn but we do have adjacent units available.”

“Thanks Armando.  Confirm the pricing and maintenance fee and call me back.  I’m very interested but it is a lot of money”.

Wow-$13,600 for both of us-that is expensive!  It’s true that all these niche’s are too small to hold two urns and pictures.  You can see it in the pictures above.  All the other niche’s can fit two urns.

I was sold before but now I must at least consider all options first.  There are financing and pre-payment discount options that I hadn’t mentioned so if we do opt for the Crystal niche, I can just pay for mine over time.  It’ll help things immensely.  So what’s a little more debt anyway?  A drop in a huge bucket-that’s what.

If I hadn’t seen these Crystal niche’s, I think my choice would be the Sycamore Lake niche near the water fall.

This subject is obviously a personal one.  I asked several people of their burial plans.  Most had to speak in a theoretical manner since all but one person had actually paid any attention to it before.  The opinions range from “it doesn’t matter, get the cheapest one” to “don’t skimp-this is forever” and everything in between.

My gut tells me that the Crystal niche is the only real choice.

Have you thought about it before?  What would you do?

2/12/11 UPDATE:  I spoke to Satomi last night and reviewed all the niche options.  She agreed with my recommendations and by far prefers the Crystal niche.  Screw the cost.  I’ll just make payments on mine.  I’ll call Armando in the morning to start the process.

Thursday was a tough day for our Satomi so her closest friends, Irene and Brenda, decided to make Friday an excellant day.  You may remember Irene and Brenda from that misguided wheel chair escapade to the park last week.  So what was it going to be today?

Something so simple that we all take it for granted.

It’s been nearly been two months since Satomi’s had a real shower.  Those sponge bath’s just don’t compare.

As you can imagine, taking her from her bed into the hallway, through the master bedroom, and into the master shower took a bit of planning and effort. 

Easy for me though-I just supervised and took pictures.

Would it be inappropriate to make a joke about me posting pictures of my wife in the shower with two other women?  Sorry-I couldn’t help myself.

Satomi just had a seizure and this one was different.    It’s by far her worst yet. 

It started in one of her comfortable “safe” positions-rolled on her left side hugging a pillow.  Her Mom yelled and I ran in and sat Satomi up in bed.

This seizure was long-nearly four minutes.  There was no response at all for the first two minutes.  Her limbs and face didn’t contort excessively but were in a minor paralysis.

Her Mom was obviously scared.  I heard it in the tone of her voice and the cadence of her actions.

As I held her, Satomi’s face had an alarmed expression.  I tried to believe that it wasn’t a look of fear but the possibility really scared me.

I felt so helpless as I stared into her eyes.  The only comfort I had was knowing that she was not in pain.

We were all very relieved when Satomi finally responded but all I could think about was next time.

Afterward I asked Satomi of her recollection.  I wanted to know if she was scared.  Maybe luckily, she didn’t remember a thing.

Over these past few weeks we’ve seen her seizures drop to one or two every few days.  While the intensity of her headaches persist they seem to be less frequent.  That’s sort of a subjective measure as I haven’t kept a detailed log. 

The predominent issue now seems to be the somewhat random and persistent nausea.  I have used Compazine and Zofran to reduce the nausea but they have no obvious effect.  The RN advised that this is not unusual with brain stem tumors.  Digestion is controlled by the brain stem and any interruption in the signal pathway may result in a gag reflex.

Some days she’s hasn’t kept anything down.  While other days, it’s only been a few dry heaves.  It’s had an effect on her hydration and is likely contributing to her weakness.  We push liquids constantly but sometimes it’s an uphill battle.

Luckily she has adequate body weight to weather some missed meals.

So we’re setting up the Hospital table for Satomi’s dinner tonight.  She was sitting up in bed and looking at the baby monitor camera I mounted on the wall above her.  It’s been there for several weeks so it’s nothing new.

With an inquisitive look in her eye and straight face she poses a question, “if you put a camera in my butt, would you have to dig it out of my poo afterward?”

My jaw hit the floor.  “Whaaaaaat?”

Satomi responds after a few seconds, “oh wait…I just realized what I said…ha, ha, ha, ha…”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha”