The traffic to the blog has increased by a factor of four so I wanted to simplify things for all of you.
I’m sorry about the Day-of-the-Week post titles. I don’t like them typically but since I’ve been updating a few times a day, I thought it would make things easier to follow. Anything not related to the daily update would still get an original name.
I upload all the photos in full size and rely upon wordpress.com to shrink them down. That way, you can click on the photo and the high-resolution file is displayed in all its colorful goodness.
Finally, I increased the number of posts that show on the homepage from three to five. As it was set before, if I posted more than three a day, you’d have to go to the second page to see them all. That was just a pain so now, with the magic of wordpress.com, it is five.
Here’s a few pix of the girls from my sister’s wedding in Hawaii a few years ago.
Just beautiful, huh?
So I’ve basically forgotten that I have diabetes. Actually the truth is that-for the time being anyway-I just don’t care. I am putting no effort into improving my condition-I am only maintaining it until things change for us.
I’ve upped my Metformin dose to compensate for my tendency to forget to take it half the time. I haven’t monitored my blood sugar in months. I rarely eat sugary foods like candy or soda so my blood glucose doesn’t swing wildly but with things as they are, I eat what I can when I can. My blood pressure is elevated from the constant stress. I stopped all exercise and I sleep like crap. Since losing all that weight last year, I’ve gained more than half of it back. My back sucks and I have a chronic pain in my forehead.
I had to get my blood work done last week in preparation for my quarterly check up. Satomi and I used to go that lab all the time so some of the Phlebotomists remember us, “Hello Mr. Okamoto, how is your wife?” My canned answer is truthful but polished up for public consumption, “She is at home under hospice care now but is doing very well given the circumstances.” I nearly always get the shocked response and the pledge of support and prayers. I’m always thankful and flattered but I am strongly considering just lying about it from now on. The blood draw itself was uneventful.
Today was my first Endocrinologist appointment since Satomi has entered hospice. We used to attend these appointments together so going alone really bothered me. I sat in the exam room and waited for the doctor. As the minutes went by I just felt like crying. It was just one of those random reminders.
The doctor arrived and I gave him the five-minute run-down. He responded accordingly with support and prayers and said, “…and that explains your test results. But given the situation, they are actually quite good.”
My fasting blood sugar was high but my long-term A1C numbers were nearly identical to three-months ago. My cholesterol was also similar and reasonably low. My blood pressure was 148/90. That is very high for me but is closely tied to my stress and sleep so there was no alarm.
So in the end, the visit went well. There are definitely things I need to more closely monitor and manage by I’m doing acceptable in the circumstances.
Finally, I appreciate all the “you need to take care of yourself” messages but rest assured that I know what I need to do to improve my health. But for the next few weeks or months, my focus is Satomi. I’m in maintenance mode.
“Mom…Mom…”
Its 6:00am and I jump out of bed and run to the next room.
Satomi’s awake and speaking. I’m surprised but not shocked since her bedtime meds have been reduced, this was a distinct possibility.
She’s thirsty and her back hurts. We give her water and she dozes off again for a short while. I return to bed.
Moments later I am summoned back into the room. There are already signs of agitation-“move me, I want to sit up, roll me over”, and on and on.
Her Fentanyl patches are suppose to last for 72-hours and it’s been about 57-hours. History has shown that they usually last for only 60-hours so its close enough. I give her 0.25mL of Oxy for the immediate discomfort.
I roll her over and she groans in pain, “…my neck…back…ankle…” Her entire body hurts from being in bed for nearly two-months. I wedge a pillow between the bed and her back to hold her in place. Instinctively she pulls it out several times and tries to roll back. I swap out her patches and give her morning medication. I carefully roll her back into place.
She hasn’t been this lucid in weeks and I want to reassure her: There’s nothing to worry about and I’m here with her. I kiss her about a dozen times and I hold her hand. Sedation is right around the corner and I may not have another opportunity to express myself. She smiles and repeats the same.
I give her juice, half a cup of yogurt, and 6-ounces of water. It goes down quickly but some of it comes back quickly too.
We have a dry-erase board conversation about her and the pain. I show her the blog pictures and she smiles. The Hawaii pictures provoke the biggest smile.
We talk about the past week and all her sleeping. I am concerned that during the awake time, she is conscious enough to be sad. She says things are OK and there was no pain. I was very happy to hear it. I explain the possibility of needing to sedate her in the near future. She nods and I change the subject to our girls.
A minute later, she gets a small headache and tries to control the pain with deep breathing. I administer another 0.25mL of Oxy, hold her hand, and she dozes off.
4:30pm UPDATE: I went to the office for a couple of hours. On the way, I called Irene and Brenda to tell them of Satomi’s excellent condition. Irene drove over almost immediately. They had a nice visit for nearly the entire morning. By my return at lunchtime, Satomi had already returned to sleep. No further drugs were given while I was away. She’s still sleeping now.
9:30pm UPDATE: She slept soundly until 8:30pm. We gave her another juice and a bit more water. Today was the most fluids she’s had in over a week. I prep her bedtime meds and we talk a bit. I told her that if she’s feeling good again maybe we can see more visitors. She nodded. I gave her the meds, a goodnight kiss, and she closes her eyes for the evening. I opted to keep the medication the same as previously. She may awake early but we’ll all forgo a bit of sleep to have another day like today.
Another favorite photo from our wedding day…
Satomi's Cancer Blog 