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Poo Monster Chronicles

by on February 7, 2011

Our battle lines were tested again last night by the curst Poo Monster.  The slimy bastard snuck past our defenses using Ninja tactics.  It somehow convinced our Satomi that it wasn’t there.  I had my suspicions so I asked her repeatedly before her evening “medication”.  I was assured that the coast was clear so I proceeded as usual.  After a short 20 minutes, we were quietly attacked.  I didn’t even realize that the attack occurred until I made my rounds and noticed an unusual smell.

“What’s that stench?  Where’s it coming from?”

I pulled back the covers to take a closer look.

“Damn Poo Monster!  Frick!  Frick!”

The recently administered medication became collateral damage.  It lied helplessly next to the body of the monster.  It was too late for the largely intact  suppositories as they were now a gooey mess. 

I was so upset about it.  Our medication reserves had run low over the weekend and re-supply had yet to be scheduled.

The carnage of the attack was addressed using what has become our standard SOP-transfer Satomi off the nasty sheets, liners on everything, many, many glove changes, and a hell of a lot of wipes.  It was straightforward and went smoothly.  No spills, drips, or splashes.  I won’t bore you with the graphic details.

It went so smoothly in fact, that I had time to ponder the future.

I know that the monster is conserving its strength for an oppurtune moment.  It wants to exploit our weaknesses and that time is coming soon.  Satomi is getting weaker and will one day not be able to leave the bed.  When that happens, all our SOP’s are out the window.

I spoke to the RN about this and she instructed me on her own techniques at containing the monster.  The training and discussions were insightful but I am reluctant to adopt them.  I try to keep Satomi as clean as possible and these techniques are a compromise. 

This will take further study and experimentation.

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