Grateful Anger (Part 2)

[Author’s Note 6/10/09]:  This post used to be called “Call for Help”.  I re-titled it because I got several supportive but a bit misguided text and E-mail messages.  Although I’m paraphrasing here, it seems that everyone is deathly worried that our lives are fallng apart.  Of course that is the ultimate concern but things aren’t that bad.  It seems that these messages were based almost entirely on the title of this post.  Things are tough and will get tougher but our lives are still moving in a positive direction.  Like I said below, it’s all about attitude.

After speaking with Satomi (see “A Worrisome Sunday (Part 1)” below for context), her best friend decided to take action.  She sent out an E-mail to organize their friends to cook and deliver meals to us and perform household chores such as the kids laundry.  Many of you may have received an E-mail about it.

My first response was anger.

Nobody talked with me before sending out this “call for help”.  Since it is my family and my household, I would think that it would warrant a quick chat beforehand.  Is that too much to ask?  Last I looked, I’m still primary caregiver.

The “call for help” questioned my abilities even before I had the chance to show my abilities.  I feel helpless much of the time-Not being an Oncologist and all.  But, I’ll be damned if I feel helpless in my own house with my own family.

My second response was gratitude.

The truth of the matter is that her best friend wants to make Satomi’s life less stressful-How can I argue with that?  My damaged ego aside for a moment.  Even if I satisfy all the needs of my family, Satomi will still see my stress and her worry will continue.

I told her friend that after my Parent’s leave, meals would be welcomed.  Any other help would have to wait until I had a chance to identify problems and potential solutions.  Trying to fix them without some careful thought is premature and just a waste of time.

While it is true that Satomi and I haven’t had to raise our own family for quite some time, it is my opinion that the upcoming departure of my Parent’s does not spell the end of all things.  It will be very difficult but I’m sure we can get through it. 

It’s all about attitude.