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Tuesday March 8th

by on March 8, 2011

This morning sucked.

The catheter bag hose came lose sometime last night and the bed was covered in her super-strong-take-tons-of-drugs-don’t-drink-enough-water-acid-pee.  It soaked through all her sheets but luckily was restricted to her legs and butt.  She didn’t know the difference but the idea of her having to lie in it just enraged me.  All this pain and a wet butt?  Damn.

Luckily I didn’t have to change her sleep shirt but diaper, liner, a couple of pillows and all linens were just soaked.  We changed the bag yesterday and somehow the hose wasn’t pushed on all the way.

Who am I kidding?  I know exactly how it wasn’t pushed on all the way.  It was an honest mistake so I have no intention of reminding the responsible party but I can guarantee all of you that hose will NEVER come off again.  My rage strength is still quite formidable.

We had to roll Satomi back and forth so she wasn’t a happy camper.  It went smoothly and quickly but it stressed me out.

Besides that it seemed to be a restful day.

I was told that Satomi was awake for most of the day but her communication seems limited to glances, nodding, a whisper or two, and moans of discomfort.  She usually puckers for kisses but today, she didn’t for me.  I made gestures and talked to her and asked questions.  All I got was a blank stare.  I really don’t know how conscious she is now even with her eyes open.  It sucks.

There were only a couple of instances that required a bit extra Oxy and Ativan.  She ate half a cup of apple sauce and a few ounces of juice and water; not a lot but better than none.

I rotated her onto her left side and her bedtime meds went fine.  She’s sleeping soundly now.

Maybe it’s me being psycho but I smell that acid pee wherever I go.  I’m going to wash my hair now.  Yukk!

Good night all.

From → Daily Life

  1. JoAnn Asari permalink

    Dear Sean…sorry about the spelling earlier. I too spell my name a little differently…JoAnn, not Joanne. So I understand if you were a bit “bent” by my error.
    I just need you to know that I am with you and your family in heart and soul as you struggle through this journey with Satomi.

    I did so with my mother, father, brother and auntie in the last 4 years.

    I pray you and all who love her so much know there is a Heaven and she, Satomi, will go there…..with Jesus, her Lord and Savior, at peace, fully whole, no pain…waiting for you and her children, as well as all those she loves so much today. I know there is a Heaven. She will wait in total contentment The pain comes for us who must wait for the day God says it is our time and we meet her in Heaven.
    Today, you are the blessing in Satomi’s life, and so in our lives too as you tend to her needs without regret, without guilt but with so much love and desire to do everything for her…only her.
    God Bless you, Sean….


  2. Melissa permalink

    To JoAnn’s comment…AMEN!

    You are not alone, Sean. Lean on the Lord now as we are all praying for your strength everyday. Satomi will one day be in the loving arms of Jesus. Her body completely restored and with no pain. Try to find the hope and comfort in that. You should be very proud of yourself for EVERYTHING that you have done! Thank you again for writing this blog so candidly and letting us all know your struggles so we can support you in prayer. I love you and your family so much! God bless you!

  3. Janice permalink

    I continue to think of you, Satomi and the girls everyday. I send you all my love and strength.


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