Nearly the Same

Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.

The hospice aide, Rosa, was coming so I woke Satomi and gave her an ounce of fortified juice.  (I say “fortified” because it has some extra anti-oxidants added).  It took a while since it was a partial teaspoon at a time.  So far she hasn’t vomited it out. 

The aide just arrived and is giving her a sponge bath.  Satomi is awake now but not communicating.  All of her joints hurt so it’s difficult for a single aide to move her without pain.  I’m here to help.

We just rolled Satomi from side-to-side.  At first she looked upset and even scared.  I think it was the anticipation of pain.  I held her with one hand and supported her head with the other hand.  I talked to her and even without her glasses, she knew it was me.  I think it comforted her.  What’s most important is that SHE HAD NO SEIZURES.

We proceeded to dress her and I spoke with the aide.

Rosa:  “I’m glad you’re here.  The seizures before were scary for everyone.”

Me:  “Thanks.  Satomi asked me to stay home so I can help more.”

Rosa:  “That’s good.  I had a client that was being taken care of by his daughter.  The daughter had to go back to work so they hired a caregiver.”

Me:  “Sounds familiar.”

Rosa:  “The Client is not the same.  He refused his shower and he loves his shower.  He was so much better when she took care of him…”

Me:  “I agree.  There’s no love there so its different.”

Satomi and I have never been an overly affectionate couple (No matter how many times I asked-Just kidding.) but the closeness now cuts past the crap and just soothes her anxiety.  I am where I need to be and nobody else could give her what I can.

Satomi’s always been a strong woman.  Even after all these years of marriage, I never felt that she completely let me in.  There was always some reservation.  Needless to say that I don’t feel like that anymore.

We put lotion on her and she cleaned Satomi’s fingernails.  It went well.

I took the oppurtunity to try to feed Satomi.  I am happy to report that she ate nearly an entire cup of apple sauce and almost five ounces of water.

All cleaned and fed, she fell back asleep.