Not much better

Today, I got up really late (after 9) and didn’t see the girls off again! I didn’t sleep very well – even lying down, I have this dizziness that also gives me a headache especially when I roll from one side to the other. I got out of bed when my mom came, to eat something and to get ready to go to my radiation appt. I am so dizzy I have to hold onto her and the railing when going up/down the stairs (if I didn’t have someone there, I would probably hold on the railing with both hands!) Breakfast was just brown rice and nori (dried seaweed) cuz I wasn’t sure if I could keep anything down. Then we went to my radiation appt. I have succumbed to using a manual wheelchair to get me from one place to the next since I’ve become so dizzy! I feel like now the only exercise I get is going up/down the stairs to eat! But I’m not eating so much so I don’t think I need the exercise! The radiation was only a few minutes -it takes longer to get to the center than it is to get the treatment which was great 2 yrs ago for the breast CA when I was working – just in and out and it was so close to work! I hope this doesn’t get worse (I don’t know what that could be since I think this is pretty bad) At least I can correspond still with the use of my BlackBerry! But it takes some time but I’ll take it – it keeps my brain stimulated! I took about 3 times throughout the day to finish this blog entry but at least I’m doing it! I sent an e-mail earlier to Sean about how sick I was with all this nausea, dizziness, headache, loss of hearing and visual disturbances but I feel a little better now after taking my meds and a little rest -also, Jillian is right next to me watching the cartoon “Avatar: the last airbender” but I wish I could hear her and interact with her more so I could really spend some quality time with both my girls but I guess this is as much interaction I could have with them! I am so grateful that Sean’s parents, my mom and Sean are very involved with the girls! I would feel terrible if they weren’t there to help me with them! We have a holiday party on Saturday with our friends and the girls are going to their cousin, KK’s , 6th birthday party. I think Sean will go to our friends’ holiday party by himself and my family will take the girls to KK’s party. I’m thinking I should just stay home with the way I feel! I’m not going to be able to hear any of the conversations we’ll be having and so I probably won’t have as much fun! It would be great to see all my friends but it also may be too overwhelming! I wish, hope, pray I get better! For Christmas and my birthday this year, this is all that I would like!

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