Symbolism
I have come up with some symbolism that reflects my personal/professional dilemma. Please humor the visual:
I am walking down the path of life and I notice that there is a crack running down its middle.
On the right side of the crack is my personal life: Caring for Satomi and the girls, dealing with the cancer and the morbid possibilities.
On the left side of the crack is my professional life: Running my business, working, and making money.
The width of the crack varies from undetectable to an absolute chasm; Its size is a function of the challenges we face and stress I feel.
For example, forgetting to take out the garbage is an aesthetic surface crack-shallow and thin. While a new brain tumor is the Grand Canyon-deep and dark. This kind of crack is filled with despair, instability, depression, and anger.
Before the cancer, I would walk the path and barely even notice the crack. Like any responsible adult, I would constantly straddling it, having one foot on the personal side and the other foot on the professional side.
As my walk continued and the crack widened, I stumbled. On several occassions, I fell quite convincingly.
Somewhere along this path, I realized that the crack was too big and I couldn’t straddle it any longer. I had to make a choice and pick a side. Right or left? Family or Work? Maybe that way I could regain my balance and have the stamina to keep walking.
You all know what happens next. At the time, care-giver was the right choice. Months and many challenges have come to pass. Now it is more important that I return to my role as breadwinner.
How do I traverse the crack without falling into the darkness?