Getting My Head Straight (Part 1)

This past week has been very difficult for me.  So much so that writing this blog hasn’t helped-I had to force myself to compose this post. 

Trying to organize my pain is actually nauseating me.  Sorry for the melodramatics but it’s how I feel.

These feelings have been brewing for some time now but I just hadn’t organized or verballized them.  About a week ago a friend of mine asked how I was doing.  I thought about it for a minute and gave him a level of detail that I hadn’t really discussed before.  Hearing myself describe the situation out loud had a serious effect on me.

I started with the basics:  the different studies; the survivability statistics; the best, the worse, and the likely; the symptoms in detail; and the medications. 

It got a bit more complicated when I talked about my responsibilities to the family.  Over this past week, there have been times that dealing with this crap has been almost intolerable.

I’ve metioned this numerous times before but it truly is the perfect analogy:  I feel like a single father with three kids.  For the time being, I still have the help of my Parent’s but that’s not for long.

My stomach hurts even more now…

I’ll have to continue this post later.