Tuesday
A Tuesday has come and gone.
I got mad an Kandice today. After I picked her up from preschool she wanted to visit some baby chicks in one of the other classrooms. It was 90°F and I was already crabby from a long day of work. “No honey, we need to go home and see Mommy. You can see them tomorrow”. Kandice started crying and pouting and that isn’t normal. I took her hand and briskly walked to the car. “Why can’t you just see the bird tomorrow? Do you want Daddy to get mad? Don’t you want to go home and see Mommy? It’s hot and Granny made dinner”. Kandice said that she wanted Mommy to pick her up from school from now on. That hurt my feelings. I told her she was lucky to have a Mommy.
As the days go by I can tell that my fuse is getting shorter. It’s been less than a week since the operation. I’m working hard to keep my head straight-It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Satomi needs me to be her rock: Stable and optimistic-supportive-not stressed or scared. For my own psyche, it’s just impossible but for her, I can do it wholeheartedly. No wavering, no pause-a damn rock and with a smile to boot.
We scheduled the Pet-CT scan for tomorrow afternoon. If things go well, we may have a prognosis during our Oncologist appointment on Thursday afternoon.
Satomi's Cancer Blog 
I find myself looking at your blog just about every day. It’s a great comfort to see the frequent updates and to read about Satomi’s recovery and your great support. Nobody’s a rock. You’re better, though, because you care.
And don’t be to hard on Kandice. She’s still Daddy’s girl – after all, she was just trying to check out the chicks.
S, I love you guys. You need to vent… rocks crack every once in a while and you know where to go to vent. If you need help in the evenings, let me know. I’ll drive down.
In between work and home, take a break. You need to recharge.
Here for you.
P
I can whole-heartedly relate to your Kandice story. I go through that almost every day with Sydney, at least you can say “crying and pouting isnt normal” because thats something that i dream of.
Also, dont worry about showing that your a Rock, because Satomi and everybody allready knows that you are.