It’s just too much time to think.
Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts…
I much better understood her. No big words and a lot of explanation to my questions.
What I had stated before is true-brain stem, metastasis, cancer, etc. She better explained the “cyber knife” thing. It’s accurate enough to “burn” the tumor from the brain stem. That is good news.
The concern is the possibility that the cancer has spread. Since it is in the brain, there is a possibility that it is elsewhere.
The scan will be done soon. The cyber-knife procedure can be begun within the next few weeks. Satomi will be moved to the ICU in the next few hours so we all need to just wait in this small room. After she gets settled, “family” visitors should be OK. We just don’t know when yet.
The Neurosurgeon just came back to talk to me. Overall the physical surgery went well but his findings are quite bad.
He used a lot of big words so I hope I don’t get this wrong. The tumor metastasized itself onto the surface of the brain stem and it is cancerous.
The original 90%/10% split assumed fatty mass versus a cancer in the nerve cell wall. It did not consider a brain stem problem so it is nothing like we had originally thought.
The surgeon removed about 90% of the tumor but left the 10% in direct contact with the brain stem. He said that it is likely that the cancer is from the original breast cancer. He did not know if there was any damage to her hearing or eyesight; We would have to see during her stay in the ICU.
His treatment for the remaining cancer will be largely surgical and will involve that focused radiation knife thing to destroy it. There may also be some Chemo but he would talk with our Oncologist to work out a plan.
He made very clear that there is further treatment available and all hope is NOT lost.
I am waiting for the nurse to call me back to the post-op room. I will update this again with visitation information.
Things just aren’t getting any easier.
I spent the past hour or so with my baby. The nurses came and went and stuck her with a bunch of needles and asked a lot of questions. All were friendly and supportive. They answered all of our last minute operation questions.
We’ve always liked this hospital. We had Jillian here as well as the mastectomy procedure. I already know where the coffee pot and cafeteria is. There is a feeling of familiarity that brings ease.
I maintained my casual banter. Her best friend called and I thought that a quick word would be encouraging. That was a mistake on my part. I should have taken the call instead of passing it to Sat.
The love and encouraging words made Satomi remember the reality and it drew a tear; Still composed but just a little less happy than she was. No more unscreened phone calls for wifey. We’re both quite scared.
The nurses returned and I had a few more questions. They said it would take another hour to fully prep her for surgery. They expect the actual operation time to take 2 to 3 hours so there should be some word on her condition this afternoon. The Neurosurgeon would do all the shaving himself.
I told her we all loved her, gave her a kiss, and they rolled her away…
I just started my first stint in the waiting room.
We arrived this morning at 7:30am to get the Gamma knife robotic thing calibrated. They put about a dozen reference dots around her head and took a complete MRI. She looks like she’s about to enter the Matrix. Yesterday afternoon she got a hair cut to simplify the shaving today. Her hair is shorter than mine. Our daughters said she looked like a little boy.
She’s in Pre-Op now. I can see in her eye’s that she’s scared. I just turn up the jokes-nothing overtly offensive or racist. Things I know she’ll laugh at.
The nurses are going to call me when she’s ready so I can sit with her a bit. This is going to be the last time I see her before the operation. I’m composed but scared. I’m not sure what I’m going to say.
Satomi's Cancer Blog 