Satomi had an episode today. I was scared and felt so stupid that I didn’t see it coming. These last few days, she has been steadily getting dizzier and weaker.
This morning I had a preview of things to come-she stumbled and fell backward while drinking from a bottle of Maalox. She caught herself on the edge of the bed but couldn’t pick herself up. I was sleeping and was awoken by the thump. She was alright but it was a good scare.
She wanted to watch our girls open their Christmas presents so I helped her change and go downstairs. Her equilibrium problems are obvious on the stairs. He legs aren’t under her. She holds onto the hand rail but she doesn’t have the strength to stop her momentum. She walks like a infant-awkward, unstable, and unsure.
She sat on the couch to wait for breakfast and watch the festivities-Maybe an hour or hour and a half-laughing and tearing open about a thousand gifts. Satomi needed to use the bathroom.
She took my elbow and I walked her across the room. It’s maybe 20 feet from the couch to the bathroom. We almost made it.
Satomi’s legs collapsed under her and I had to grab her. She went limp in my arms and I think she blacked out. I’m not positive about her blacking out since she couldn’t hear my instructions or questions anyway. I carried her back to the couch and put her down. She looked up at me in a daze and said she was OK but she was just so dizzy and weak.
I called her sister and told her what happened. I canceled our Xmas Day plans.
A fall would be so painful and damaging. I’m going with her and her Mom to all appointments from now on. She will always be in a wheelchair.
I’m so scared about at what happens next.
My mom brought girls home a couple hours ago -she also brought some leftovers from lunch! Not bad for organic food -didn’t really know what I was eating but it was tasty! Now, just vegging – relaxing – need to get ready to sleep! Still clothes from morning – tired and dizzy! Girls with Sean watching TV downstairs! Thanks for all the great e-mails! Made me really happy that u take time to wish me happy birthday! Have a good rest of the holiday weekend!
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Today was supposed to be a lot going on but glad it was relaxing – no choice! After going downstairs to “watch” girls open gifts, tried to get up off couch and didn’t have enuf energy to go upstairs to change for going out to lunch – had to get a lot of help! Ended up staying home, relaxing, Irene came by -slept most of afternoon! Girls still went to lunch with my family at organic japanese food restaurant for Xmas lunch -heard it was good so makes me happy! Girls still hanging out with cousins on my side! Just had some dinner – don’t have any energy to go down anymore – feel so unstable! So Sean brought me some food to eat in bed! Almost 6pm – girls still not home -having too much fun I’m sure! I am going to get a visit with a palliative care nurse on Monday – just to give me some comfort! Maybe start some PT to get stronger too! Monday last radiation session and then may start to wean off steroids! Just got note my mom’s bringing girls home now! Still tired! Hope u all had a great holiday with ur family – I know I was with mine in spirit!
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Irene just stopped by – spent some time with her! Girls went to lunch with my family in Jtown so pretty quiet now! Feel like I’m in a bubble! Having good rest! Damn steroids making me hungry again! Probably need to munch on something soon! No energy to get up though!
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Got up and came downstairs to watch girls open up gifts – sat on couch – afterwards tried to get up, but very dizzy and I think lowered to ground! So weak too! Decided not to go out today – just rest at home today! My mom came to pick up girls for lunch – they r still having organic japanese food – I staying home – just too weak and dizzy to go out! Had soup for lunch – yummy! Irene them coming by later! Need to go rest upstairs now -tired already! Have a great day!!
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