Almost Made It

Satomi had an episode today.  I was scared and felt so stupid that I didn’t see it coming.  These last few days, she has been steadily getting dizzier and weaker. 

This morning I had a preview of things to come-she stumbled and fell backward while drinking from a bottle of Maalox.  She caught herself on the edge of the bed but couldn’t pick herself up.  I was sleeping and was awoken by the thump.  She was alright but it was a good scare.

She wanted to watch our girls open their Christmas presents so I helped her change and go downstairs.  Her equilibrium problems are obvious on the stairs.  He legs aren’t under her.  She holds onto the hand rail but she doesn’t have the strength to stop her momentum.  She walks like a infant-awkward, unstable, and unsure.

She sat on the couch to wait for breakfast and watch the festivities-Maybe an hour or hour and a half-laughing and tearing open about a thousand gifts.  Satomi needed to use the bathroom.

She took my elbow and I walked her across the room.  It’s maybe 20 feet from the couch to the bathroom.  We almost made it.

Satomi’s legs collapsed under her and I had to grab her.  She went limp in my arms and I think she blacked out.  I’m not positive about her blacking out since she couldn’t hear my instructions or questions anyway.  I carried her back to the couch and put her down.  She looked up at me in a daze and said she was OK but she was just so dizzy and weak.

I called her sister and told her what happened.  I canceled our Xmas Day plans. 

A fall would be so painful and damaging.  I’m going with her and her Mom to all appointments from now on.  She will always be in a wheelchair. 

I’m so scared about at what happens next.