A Forgotten Discussion and a Plan

Satomi had trouble from the very beginning.  She didn’t remember if she needed to take her morning medication.  It was very upsetting because she’s taken morning medication everyday of her life for the last several years.  How could someone forget something as consistent as that?  I’m a dope, someone with an irradiated brain can forget their own name under the right circumstances.

Her walk downstairs to the kitchen table was slow but thankfully uneventful.  We discussed her condition and her wishes for her care.  Surprisingly, she contradicted many things we had discussed only a couple of days before.  It was a very convoluted conversation since I was writing on a dry-erase board and she was talking.  Half the time, we were not talking about the same thing so I won’t even try to repeat it all. 

The important thing was that she said she wanted to go to the hospital instead of being treated at home.  She didn’t want our girls to see her degenerate.  Earlier in the week we agreed to home care to allow the girls to spend time with her.  I advised our palliative care RN to set up everything accordingly.  I told Satomi that we weren’t changing anything.  If the worse was to happen, I had a plan for the girls care so  she shouldn’t worry about them.  She asked about the plan.  Instead of changing the subject, I stupidly answered her and she got upset.  What was I thinking?  Luckily her sister Kiyomi arrived and the subject quickly changed.