Sean’s Job

Since I just wrote about Satomi losing her job, I thought it prudent to update you on my employment situation.

I haven’t worked since October of 2009.  The work assignment with my largest client ended and I had planned to take a few weeks off to recuperate before refocusing my efforts. 

After the initial diagnosis of cancer spreading to her spine in early November, I refocused my hiatus on to Satomi’s immediate need for additional opinions and continual support.  I had no time and honestly no interest in seeking more business.  Things were bad and I was committed to Satomi full-time.

All of my professional colleagues and many clients have been supportive to-no-end.

Many people have asked me why I can’t work and manage my families care at the same time.  The truth is that I’ve tried for the past 2 years and have done a mediocre job.  In self-reflection, I think my limitations can be broken down like this:

For my business to survive I need to think strategically.  Make all sorts of plans-short term, long-term, marketing, execution, financial, etc.  I need to be pro-active and confident and optimistic and invested.  Assert some control over things.  Some would call it passionate. 

The cancer has taught me to do the exact opposite-live day-by-day and plan only as far as the next treatment or procedure.  I am tempered with little passion.  I don’t get overly upset by bad news but I don’t get excited about good news either.  Accept the fact I have no control.

I can’t run a business with this mindset but I can’t survive without it.

It’s been years now and we can no longer afford my emotional weakness.  I need to figure out a way to deal with all the stress and keep my wits.  Easier said than done.

2010 is looking up though.  Satomi’s Mom still visits us a few days during the week to help with Satomi and some household stuff.  My Parents will hopefully be returning in the next few months to help us with the girls.  With all this help and Satomi’s improving health, I am optimistic that I can “shift-gears” and get back to it. 

The sooner the better.